As I sit at my computer, I find myself wanting to pray. Desiring to lift my children before the Father. Yet, today, there are no words. We've settled into a season of eventLESSness. One day to the next brings little to no drama. These should be days of RELIEF. And they are to a point. But yet, the full return and restoration has not occurred. What do we do in these days of routine ... rut ... sameness?
The last couple of months have been a time of change ... and LOTS of drama. There have been dramatically high peaks and revelations of God's Hand at work in mighty ways. There have been moments of deep valleys when the fear, doubt and anxiety have brought me literally face-down on the floor. Yet today I find myself in new territory. Some sort of level ground in which I no longer feel the intensity to pray that has been my constant companion over these last months.
Don't get me wrong. My prodigals have not yet fully returned, but they have certainly turned the corner and seem to be following a path that will eventually lead them home. Although there are moments of fear as I see dark places in the path and danger and the enemy's ambush along the way, I see them no longer traveling the road to destruction but set on a meandering road toward home.
There are obstacles yet to tackle. There are consequences for choices still looming and requiring time, money and sacrifice. There are many, many decisions yet to make. But somehow today feels level. I've not yet begun to trust the "level ground." Though the path is level, it isn't straight. Twists and turns along the way with the ground before them yet to be illuminated.
And I want to pray ... the desire of my heart is to lift up the journey. Yet today I feel as though God is so weary of my words and my groaning. The scriptures I offer feel empty. Yet I experience the weight of the responsibility as the intercessor. What if something happens today because I'm tired and weary in the journey?
What is it that my heart yearns for today? Has anxiety masked itself as spiritual paralysis? If today is a day to rest, then where is the peace?
"Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. I will say it again: REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7 (emphasis mine).
Is that the answer? Perhaps today God is calling me to rejoice and thank Him for what He is already doing! I don't have to wait until the end to rejoice and experience a thankful heart! God gives me permission to release my anxiety to Him so that He can deal with the source of the worry. The result in my life is that I can experience and embrace His peace. My pastor says it like this ... God always gives us peace when we ask ... in fact peace is a fruit of the spirit. It lives within the heart and life of the believer. Yet how often do we stand with our arms folded asking God to give us something He's already given. We just haven't been willing to pick it up and embrace it!
So today ... no words of petition or request. Today is a day of rejoicing and thanksgiving because God IS at work in the lives of my boys. Yesterday, I reminded the Bible Fellowship Group I teach to keep their eyes FIXED not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Thank You, Lord for putting eternity into the hearts of my boys. I rejoice that today's journey is yet another step in preparing them to become all you've created them to be for all eternity. Thank You that today's struggles are light and momentary compared to incomparable glory that awaits them in heaven. Thank You that You are the One Who redeems even their mistakes and sins and wrong choices. Today, I choose to embrace the Peace that has already been given to me and I choose to rejoice in the eternal plan my Heavenly Father is working out in the lives of my prodigals. To God be the Glory!
The Lord IS near!
Be blessed!
