No Words

As I sit at my computer, I find myself wanting to pray. Desiring to lift my children before the Father. Yet, today, there are no words. We've settled into a season of eventLESSness. One day to the next brings little to no drama. These should be days of RELIEF. And they are to a point. But yet, the full return and restoration has not occurred. What do we do in these days of routine ... rut ... sameness?

The last couple of months have been a time of change ... and LOTS of drama. There have been dramatically high peaks and revelations of God's Hand at work in mighty ways. There have been moments of deep valleys when the fear, doubt and anxiety have brought me literally face-down on the floor. Yet today I find myself in new territory. Some sort of level ground in which I no longer feel the intensity to pray that has been my constant companion over these last months.

Don't get me wrong. My prodigals have not yet fully returned, but they have certainly turned the corner and seem to be following a path that will eventually lead them home. Although there are moments of fear as I see dark places in the path and danger and the enemy's ambush along the way, I see them no longer traveling the road to destruction but set on a meandering road toward home.

There are obstacles yet to tackle. There are consequences for choices still looming and requiring time, money and sacrifice. There are many, many decisions yet to make. But somehow today feels level. I've not yet begun to trust the "level ground." Though the path is level, it isn't straight. Twists and turns along the way with the ground before them yet to be illuminated.

And I want to pray ... the desire of my heart is to lift up the journey. Yet today I feel as though God is so weary of my words and my groaning. The scriptures I offer feel empty. Yet I experience the weight of the responsibility as the intercessor. What if something happens today because I'm tired and weary in the journey?

What is it that my heart yearns for today? Has anxiety masked itself as spiritual paralysis? If today is a day to rest, then where is the peace?

"Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS. I will say it again: REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:4-7 (emphasis mine).

Is that the answer? Perhaps today God is calling me to rejoice and thank Him for what He is already doing! I don't have to wait until the end to rejoice and experience a thankful heart! God gives me permission to release my anxiety to Him so that He can deal with the source of the worry. The result in my life is that I can experience and embrace His peace. My pastor says it like this ... God always gives us peace when we ask ... in fact peace is a fruit of the spirit. It lives within the heart and life of the believer. Yet how often do we stand with our arms folded asking God to give us something He's already given. We just haven't been willing to pick it up and embrace it!

So today ... no words of petition or request. Today is a day of rejoicing and thanksgiving because God IS at work in the lives of my boys. Yesterday, I reminded the Bible Fellowship Group I teach to keep their eyes FIXED not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. What is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. Thank You, Lord for putting eternity into the hearts of my boys. I rejoice that today's journey is yet another step in preparing them to become all you've created them to be for all eternity. Thank You that today's struggles are light and momentary compared to incomparable glory that awaits them in heaven. Thank You that You are the One Who redeems even their mistakes and sins and wrong choices. Today, I choose to embrace the Peace that has already been given to me and I choose to rejoice in the eternal plan my Heavenly Father is working out in the lives of my prodigals. To God be the Glory!

The Lord IS near!

Be blessed!

Letting Go

I've decided the motto for being a parent is "Letting Go." It seems as though that's what we do. Beginning from the moment the umbilical cord is cut, we commence the journey of letting go.

My eldest is 23 (and a half, actually) and I've just today experienced an epiphany in this idea of letting go of those who are such a part of us. As I pondered the notion, I was taken back to occasions where God let me practice ... I remember the first time I actually let my parents babysit. He was about 2 weeks old, and my mother insisted that my husband and I leave the baby with she and my dad, and that the two of us "new parents" go enjoy a meal. Reluctantly, we left. I've never ordered so little food and eaten it so fast in all my life. No time for small talk. Just eat, pay the check and drive home as fast as possible. And the "School of Parental Letting Go" was officially in session.

Subsequent children, subsequent situations, subsequent opportunities ... there have been more times than I can recount where letting go became little by little, more intense. There were first days of school ... first time sleepovers at a friend's house ... first time camps ... first time vacations without the kids ... first time soloing in the car ... first time dates ... first time mission trips overseas ... first time leaving home ...

As I remember different children and different opportunities to let go, I realize that what I feel as I remember these things is a kind of ripping deep down inside. We've all watched our children struggle, try, fail, get back up, try again, hurt, succeed, rejoice, weep ... and each time we have to step back a little bit further and let them figure it out on their own.

Certainly we parents reach a time where we have to stand back and watch our children make profoundly poor choices, knowing all along that the scars left behind will be life-long for them. However, we don't interfere ... we just watch, and PRAY while continuing to let go.

The book of Samuel contains a story of a Mom having to let go. 1 Samuel 1:28: "So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." Read the story of Samuel the priest sometime. It is the story of a mother's ultimate letting go.

I have seriously digressed ... I was going to share my epiphany. As I've pondered my own version and seasons of letting go with my children, I came to a comforting realization. I've always had the idea that letting go of my children was something like releasing helium filled balloons into the sky. I let go of the string and watch them float away, resisting the urge to jump up and catch it again, only to watch until the balloon was no longer visible. Still out there, somewhere ... just beyond where I can see. Hoping that it would find safe passage to whatever destination it sought. But I think God is teaching me something entirely different about letting go of my children. 1 Peter 5:7: "Cast your cares upon God because He cares for you." In all honesty, children are a giant "care." If you don't think so, you're not very far along in the parenting journey. Truly they are a blessing, but I've honestly spent more time on my knees interceding for my kids than I have spent singing praises to God for giving them to me. So they truly are something I spend a lot of time and energy "caring" for. So God says to cast my cares upon Him. Casting ... interesting word. Actually means to throw with all your might. Not like a rod and reel where you cast into the water, reel it in and cast again. But a permanent throwing as hard as you can, as far as you can. Once you've "cast", if you've done it correctly, it doesn't return to your hand.

As scary as the whole concept may seem, it is really the very best thing we can do as parents. When I put any one of my children in my hand and prepare to cast, my eyes are fixed on the Catcher. You see, unlike releasing balloons into the great unknown, we are actually throwing our children into the loving arms of a God who can and will care for them more perfectly than you or I ever could.

I don't know where you are in your journey as a parent. But I can tell you, the greatest gift you can give your kids is to let them go ... not into the world, or their own selfishness, or even your idea of who they are. But let them go and let God have His way in their life and heart. Get out of the way and let God do His best work in them. Only when I choose to step aside does God truly have free reign in the lives, minds, hearts and souls of my beloved children. Abandon them? No. Love them completely? Absolutely! But love them enough to let God have the time and freedom to truly make a difference in them. Love them enough, to let them go.

Be blessed!

Praying for Rain

June has been a hot, dry month here in Texas. The last time I listened to the weather, our local meteorologist said we were 6 inches behind in rainfall. And many days saw the temperatures top the century mark. Hot. Dry. Desolate. Barren. Parched. I can close my eyes and imagine the sun burning hot on my face. The stillness of the dry air pulling moisture from my body. If only it would rain. If only the heavens would open and the refreshing smell of rain would permeate the air. If only I could stand with my face toward the sky and feel the cool, life-giving drops falling on my skin. If only ...

I guess as a writer, I see the situations around me as metaphors for life. It is no surprise to me that during a dry, arid season in the lives of my prodigals, there would be no rain for me either. The feelings inside when I think of them are so similar to the picture I've painted in my mind of the dry desolation of the parched land longing for a drink of cool water.

Isaiah 44:3 "For I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants."

As I have prayed many, many scriptures for my children, this one comes to my heart so often. As we see the desolation and sun-leathered faces of our children as they wander in the desert, we so often long for them to find the oasis ... that place where fresh water and green, lush vegetation punctuate the death of the desert around it. We long for the refreshing, restoring rains to fall upon them. That the water will clean and refresh. That it will bring new life to their thirsting heart and soul. That the healing waters of the Spirit of God would wash away the deception that they've held as truth and wash their eyes and minds to see and experience the healing and wisdom of the God Who yearns to be their Living Water.

I don't know where you are today, or what your struggles may be as you stand in the gap for your prodigal. But I encourage you to remain faithful in prayer. If you ever wonder just how patient He is with those who wander in the desert, read the story of Hosea. Always hope. Always trust. Always believe. The Lord of the rain will one day truly bring refreshing, cleansing, healing water to the desert. Pray that He will pour out His Spirit on your offspring. Pray for the Rain to fall ...

Be blessed!

The War is ON!

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:3-5.

We need to merely shift our gaze from the temporal to the heavenly to realize that the battle for our children is not an earthly war. Oh, things of the earth are certainly used by the enemy as weapons. He may use ideologies that our children have learned or been exposed to that cause them to question and doubt even the very existence of God. He may employ philosophies that tickle their ears into believing that there are many ways to God. God's word identifies the enemy as the father of lies ... the great deceiver ... incapable of honesty or integrity, whose only goal is to destroy people ... especially Christ-followers.

Although the enemy may not have the souls of our children, he certainly desires to rob them of the abundant life that God has planned for them. If we look at examples in scripture of the enemy at work, we can fairly easily identify his modus operandi. He often begins his deceptions not with actions, but with words. "Surely God did not say you would die," he tells the woman in the garden. "Turn those stones to bread," he suggests to a famished Lord. He tends to hit us when and where we are weak, and pour deceptive poison into our minds until it has infected our thoughts and consequently, our actions.

How is the enemy deceiving your prodigal today? Has he said, "You're just not good enough." Or maybe, "Really? That won't hurt you. Not just once!" Perhaps he has caused them to question the existence and sovereignty of God. Maybe he has your prodigal wondering if what you've taught him all these years about Christ could possibly be the truth.

Where there is chaos and confusion you can be sure the enemy is at the root. Where there is peace and hope, you find the Truth, the Person of Christ.

As you pray today, remember this passage in Corinthians. Pray these words on behalf of your prodigal. Remember that God is far more powerful than anything the enemy has at his disposal. When Paul tells us about the amour of God in the book of Ephesians he instructs that the Shield of Faith we carry "extinguishes ALL the flaming arrows of the evil one." (emphasis mine). And the God of the universe is alive in you through the Holy Spirit, if you have accepted Christ as your Savior. Pray boldly, knowing that the weapons God has formed are divinely powerful to demolish strongholds ... another translation says those weapons "(are) divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God ..." What is it that has taken hold of your prodigal's life or mind? What deception have they embraced as truth? You have a mighty weapon in your hand and heart through the Holy Spirit. Pray boldly. Release the power of the weapon to demolish the stronghold the enemy has.

Allow the power of Christ to infiltrate the enemy camp. Pray for Him to destroy everything the enemy has established in the mind and heart of your prodigal. And remember. You are in the winning army! Christ has already defeated the enemy and rendered him powerless to stand against you! "Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world!"

Pray in faith, believing. As you release your prodigal to God, He is faithful. He will cover and protect them. He will redeem them. He is the God of restoration. "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39.

Be blessed!

Waiting ...

I must admit, waiting is not something I do well. I function quite comfortably in the current "microwave" society ... instant results, instant answers, instant solutions, instant changes ...

I become very anxious when the word wait enters the conversation. God is doing a lot these days in teaching me to wait. The things I'm asking for don't have instant solutions. My path these days is slower, less certain. God illumines the path one step at a time. What is beyond the current step is often an unknown.

That's where I am with my prodigals. God shows me where to step, how to pray, what to pray for today, then gives me the grace to stand in that spot until time to move on. I have on my running shoes. I'm ready for the gun to fire so I can sprint down the path, get to the finish line, declare victory and dance at the party! But today, I look at my feet to find house slippers. Can't run in those. They are for comfortably remaining at home and waiting to put on shoes to leave the house. God is slowing me down, teaching me to listen to His prompting, training me to trust Him and Him alone, then wait for HIM to bring the victory.

Micah 7:7 says this: But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord; I will wait for my Savior; My God will hear me.

Look at what God says for me to do: He reminds me to "watch in hope." My eyes are alert to see what God will do. Perhaps another way to say that is expect to see God do what only God can do. Although my eyes are active, my mind doesn't wander from the hope I have in God. Then, the hard part. I am to "wait for my Savior". Think about that for a minute. We often think of Christ as the Savior. The One Who died to save us all from eternal death and separation from a Holy God. But is it possible that we could extend His role as Savior into our day-to-day experiences? Although our primary prayer for everyone is that all would come into a saving relationship with Christ for eternity, can't we also ask Him to save us and those we love each day? I have come to call upon the Savior to "save" my children from danger daily ... to "save" their minds and thoughts that have wandered contrary to the Truth. As I continue to ask and seek, I wait. As with all manner of "saving", the timing is always in the Hands of the Savior. And waiting is active, not passive. It isn't pacing and wringing our hands and wondering what the Savior is up to, and what should we do next? Active waiting, is intentionally remaining, abiding in the Presence and Hope of the Savior. Allowing Him to take captive any anxious thought we may be tempted to entertain. And finally, knowing that God will hear our prayer. God always stands ready to hear and answer.

As I continue this path with my children, I'm growing to understand that as I seek God to do a work in them, He may be doing an even greater work in me. I believe that everything we walk through can and will be redeemed by our loving Heavenly Father. As we wait on Him, He is building in us, a deep and abiding faith and trust in Him.

Today, take a deep breath, and feel His Power and Presence pour over you as you wait on Him to save.

Be blessed!

The Journey

Welcome to my journey. If you've landed on this blog intentionally or if you've just happened across its words, I trust it will speak to your heart. I invite you to join me on a journey of faith. We are all on a path ... sometimes those paths intersect ... sometimes they separate and then reconnect. But I believe we can all learn from one another's journeys.

My path today is one of profound faith and fervent prayer. I am walking a journey with prodigal children. As I travel this road, I find many obstacles along the way. Sometimes I trip over paralyzing fear. Other times I am stopped dead in my tracks by overwhelming anxiety. At other times my feet stumble over doubt, disillusionment and despair. And certainly the shadow of guilt seems to follow close behind with every footstep.

I never would have dreamed that my path through life would bring me through the dark alley-ways of walking with prodigal children. However, as a mother of five, my two eldest ... sons ... have chosen to walk the tightrope between destruction and victory.

As my feet have trod this path over the past five years, I must admit, I am learning what it means to CHOOSE joy. I am experiencing trust in supernatural ways. God is teaching me what it means to walk by FAITH not by sight. And my prayer life has become a constant life-line to hope.

I became a widow at the age of 37. I remember thinking then, that I had done my "difficult moment" in life. I had felt the greatest pain possible and survived. Life MUST get better after this. I couldn't imagine God growing any closer or walking any more intimately with me than during that season of illness and the death of my beloved. Yet today, God is doing more and more to teach me what it means to live a life of faith, completely "sold out" to the God who loves me with an everlasting love ... what it means to experience peace in the very center of the storm. What "casting my cares upon Him" really means.

My encouragement for you today comes from the book of Ezekiel. Ezekiel was a prophet in the Old Testament. God spoke to the people through the experiences He gave to Ezekiel. One such experience found Ezekiel in valley full of bones. Dry bones. God asked Ezekiel if he thought the dry bones could live. This passage spoke to me because I think as our prodigals move away from the God of life and peace and joy and fulfillment and into the path of destruction and confusion and hopelessness and death, I see dry bones. The frame of what was once full of life now seems dry and dead.

Ezekiel 37:4-6: Then He said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones, hear the word of the LORD!'" This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the LORD. (emphasis mine)

Isn't that what we want more than anything? Isn't the desire of our heart that these who have chosen to live in rebellion KNOW that God wants to be the Lord of their life? As you pray for your prodigal, I challenge you to prophesy the word of the LORD into the barren lostness of your loved one. It is only God Who can bring them back to the land of the living. It is only God who has the power to renew and restore and redeem. God's desire is always that we know and acknowledge that He is the LORD. Once we have surrendered to His Sovereignty, He can and will use everything that happens in our lives to bring us closer to Himself.

You can't change anything for your prodigal. You can't change the past, or their current choices or the consequences they may be suffering. But you can trust your Heavenly Father Who loves you and Who loves your prodigal.

Be faithful in prayer and steadfast in trust.

Be blessed this day!