Letting Go

I've decided the motto for being a parent is "Letting Go." It seems as though that's what we do. Beginning from the moment the umbilical cord is cut, we commence the journey of letting go.

My eldest is 23 (and a half, actually) and I've just today experienced an epiphany in this idea of letting go of those who are such a part of us. As I pondered the notion, I was taken back to occasions where God let me practice ... I remember the first time I actually let my parents babysit. He was about 2 weeks old, and my mother insisted that my husband and I leave the baby with she and my dad, and that the two of us "new parents" go enjoy a meal. Reluctantly, we left. I've never ordered so little food and eaten it so fast in all my life. No time for small talk. Just eat, pay the check and drive home as fast as possible. And the "School of Parental Letting Go" was officially in session.

Subsequent children, subsequent situations, subsequent opportunities ... there have been more times than I can recount where letting go became little by little, more intense. There were first days of school ... first time sleepovers at a friend's house ... first time camps ... first time vacations without the kids ... first time soloing in the car ... first time dates ... first time mission trips overseas ... first time leaving home ...

As I remember different children and different opportunities to let go, I realize that what I feel as I remember these things is a kind of ripping deep down inside. We've all watched our children struggle, try, fail, get back up, try again, hurt, succeed, rejoice, weep ... and each time we have to step back a little bit further and let them figure it out on their own.

Certainly we parents reach a time where we have to stand back and watch our children make profoundly poor choices, knowing all along that the scars left behind will be life-long for them. However, we don't interfere ... we just watch, and PRAY while continuing to let go.

The book of Samuel contains a story of a Mom having to let go. 1 Samuel 1:28: "So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD." Read the story of Samuel the priest sometime. It is the story of a mother's ultimate letting go.

I have seriously digressed ... I was going to share my epiphany. As I've pondered my own version and seasons of letting go with my children, I came to a comforting realization. I've always had the idea that letting go of my children was something like releasing helium filled balloons into the sky. I let go of the string and watch them float away, resisting the urge to jump up and catch it again, only to watch until the balloon was no longer visible. Still out there, somewhere ... just beyond where I can see. Hoping that it would find safe passage to whatever destination it sought. But I think God is teaching me something entirely different about letting go of my children. 1 Peter 5:7: "Cast your cares upon God because He cares for you." In all honesty, children are a giant "care." If you don't think so, you're not very far along in the parenting journey. Truly they are a blessing, but I've honestly spent more time on my knees interceding for my kids than I have spent singing praises to God for giving them to me. So they truly are something I spend a lot of time and energy "caring" for. So God says to cast my cares upon Him. Casting ... interesting word. Actually means to throw with all your might. Not like a rod and reel where you cast into the water, reel it in and cast again. But a permanent throwing as hard as you can, as far as you can. Once you've "cast", if you've done it correctly, it doesn't return to your hand.

As scary as the whole concept may seem, it is really the very best thing we can do as parents. When I put any one of my children in my hand and prepare to cast, my eyes are fixed on the Catcher. You see, unlike releasing balloons into the great unknown, we are actually throwing our children into the loving arms of a God who can and will care for them more perfectly than you or I ever could.

I don't know where you are in your journey as a parent. But I can tell you, the greatest gift you can give your kids is to let them go ... not into the world, or their own selfishness, or even your idea of who they are. But let them go and let God have His way in their life and heart. Get out of the way and let God do His best work in them. Only when I choose to step aside does God truly have free reign in the lives, minds, hearts and souls of my beloved children. Abandon them? No. Love them completely? Absolutely! But love them enough to let God have the time and freedom to truly make a difference in them. Love them enough, to let them go.

Be blessed!